2001-09-24 - 10:43 a.m.
Sunday Night, 9/23/2001
Tonight, long after I should be in bed, I sit once again captivated by "Gladiator." A long movie, quite violent in some aspects, yet exactly what I hope someday to be able to write myself. Not about combat, or violence, or politics, or oppression. But I would write about the same themes of honor and justice, about themes and topics that inspire the best of human character. Now, more than ever, I need to feel that there is some cosmic sense of justice.
I'm not talking about quick, vigilante justice. I'm talking about the kind of justice that takes time, that happens in spite of all efforts to counter it.
I'm talking about the same themes that I find myself most attracted to in the SCA ... honor and chivalry. Yes, I sometimes have trouble accepting that my time as a warrior for my country is done. But I will always embrace my honor, and I will always do my level best to defend the defenseless, to pursue and encourage honesty and integrity. Although the SCA is but a game, I believe strongly in the ideals behind the game. And I am thankful for the outlet for the violence that sometimes wells up within me.
Sometimes, when I am on the cliff's edge between sleep and waking, I still hear the pipes and bodhran clearly, and I feel the urge to paint myself blue and pick up my spatha ....
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